How~

You hurt the one,
Your heart belongs too,
Time and again,
You lost yourself, for quite some time,
You watch them walk away,
You can't make them stay.
You can only cry,
Until your heart stops beating,
Until the very last breath leaves your body.
You can only blame yourself,
For the pain you feel,
For the pain they feel,
You can only wish for a time a machine to go back,
To take back every lie,
Every argument,
Every feeling left unsaid.
You can beat yourself up,
You can drink yourself away,
You can have guilt dreams every night,
Wake crying, Screaming, every morning.
 You can find yourself,
albeit too late,
You can prove to everyone,
who matters,
 you are back.
You can talk everyday to the one,
who holds your heart,
You can hope for the best...
You can even pretend to be,
 okay,
most days.
You can pretend it doesn't hurt to breathe.
There is a lot you can do.
But how...
HOW do you do the things you can't?
How do you tell them,
 you love them,
 you need them,
you want them.
How do you explain,
 that you will spend your life repenting,
if you have to.
 How do you say,
everything,
That your heart is bursting, to say?
How do you tell the person,
you destroyed,
that you can love them right.
How do you confess,
that even the simplest of conversation,
set you on fire,
but you never said anything,
out of an irrational fear.
How do you confess that a more recent conversation,
Set you ablaze,
 that you got 3 different poems out of it.
 How do you tell them that you almost sent them over 100 times,
 but felt its only gonna throw you,
across a line,
 that will only push them further away..
How do you make it known,
that you want so badly to be able to tell them,
 everything you never did,
how do you tell them.
that you feel like a horrible person.
How do you say, anything.
How, do you make it up to them.
How do you distance yourself,
when you just want to kiss. and hold them,
 until their smile no longer hurts?
How do you get back into their heart, when you are pretty sure its closed off to you..